Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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