Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
