after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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