ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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