This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
send nudes
from the living room?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
