well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
