Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
