census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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