dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
