Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
