im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
