I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
