Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Randomize