Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
