Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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