Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
