I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
