So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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