new low.... made out with someone while peeing
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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