I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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