i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
