OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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