If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
