Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
