I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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