The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
