OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can you bring me the toilet please
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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