Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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