having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
