I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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