Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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