How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
