i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
