I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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