I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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