Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
