He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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