Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
