omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
