I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
