I just cut my nipple shaving
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
