you would pick up someone in the library
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
