Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize