I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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