I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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