So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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