my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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