So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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