Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
