dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop