so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying