My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?