brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.