Will you blow on my dice?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown