My room smells like vodka and shame
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize