One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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