Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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