New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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